Friday, March 7, 2014

I do.

We have been married for two months now.
When my husband asked to marry me, I was hesitant, asking for a minute to think. More than a minute to be honest. If you have been sticking around a while you know it hasn't been easy.
It never has been between us and throwing a kid in hasn't made things easier.

When I planned and thought about wedding things the thought of "I can't do this" and " what the hell am I doing here" circled around in my mind every now and then.
In the end, we got married. It was the best day in my entire life for sure.

And on days like today where D sings in is carseat this song...


… asks daddy the umpteenth time to give him a cuddle and a kiss before he exhaustedly falls asleep, I know in my heart that this is true:

I did exactly the right thing at the right time, because I love. 

I can't even express in words how happy and grateful I am for the days when we snuggle up in bed together to read stories. Grateful for the times I snuggle D to sleep. I sing him this silly song I made up and drive my husband crazy with. It's truly a catchy tune.

How filled with love this makes me.

And how I wish Dee will remember these days and preserve the feeling of being truly loved for who he  is. I know he will.

I found my place of belonging. Where I can be who I am, love and give everything I have without fear.
this is a really big deal for me, experiencing some kind of fear on a constant basis in my life.
I finally have taken the guard down and it feels so great, to give to love and to belong.

Here with my two men.



Clare B said...

Oh Suki, so glad you've found a happy place to be.

Life with Kaishon said...

I am thankful you found your place.
May happiness follow you always.
Love, Beck