If that sounds like a lot, it probably is.
We co-slept roughly until he was around 10-11 months old, because I felt it was expected of me as a mother to move my child nearly a year old into his own bed in his own room and let him fall asleep all on his own. I thought others kids learned it that way and he will too.
I was way wrong. He cried himself to sleep for a total of 3 weeks. Some may say I gave in, but his behaviour just proves that I did what was best for us.
After that before mentioned Saturday evening he fell asleep easily in unison with my breathing and I felt at ease because this is what my body and my soul tell me is the right thing. Not what society, advertisements or parenting books try to sell me on. This is how our ancestors slept and this can't be a wrong thing, because if it would be, we wouldn't be here right now and the human breed would have been lost.
This little turning point started a major transformation of questioning my parenting style, what I believe in and how do I give David the best quality rich love and nourishment he deserves.
How do I nourish me, what fuels me, what takes most of my energy and how do I want to react to that.
I applied simple rules to our living and it feels like the bomb.
Rules include no social media during D's awake time, no unnecessary TV time (it use to run often in the backround in the evenings), we use nap-time as down-time physically lying down and resting, being present, focusing and honoring life as it is.
I am not running around like a restless, sleep-deprived, headless chicken trying to keep up with the fast speed of the world. Instead I sit back, watch my needles click turning a ball of yarn into something loving for my boy or watching the warm dough rise in the kitchen. Finding beauty in handmade and simple things.
I turn to a book and educate myself, thinking about how I can grow and be a better parent. How I want to implement our love for nature into his up-bringing and including a different approach of the importance of art into my parenting, way different than I have been raised.
And while all that happens life goes on in a way more peaceful, grounded way. The world is the same place as yesterday and the day before that, but it is me that is different.
I don't want to give into all the thoughts of needs, wants and should-have. I acknowledge what I have and go from there. I am way beyond blessed in the place that I am in.
I need quality instead of quantity, meaningful conversations and realizing that the path beyond the norm is perfectly awesome if it makes me and my family a whole way happier.
This feels like a good path. Let's go from here and see where we end up.